So often we grumble, complain, heck even rant that things aren’t the way we would like them to be. How often do we place the blame squarely on other people, outside circumstances? “You see my boss/husband/best friend doesn’t understand that….”. OR “I wanted to do that but I couldn’t because……”


Who here is the real reason things are not the way we would like them to be?


Have you thought about looking in the mirror lately?


We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves, our attitude, our reaction to people, circumstances and events. Yes, life happens. Shitty things, life altering things. Death, cancer, injury. But the way you respond to the event is what gives it the importance in your life. Other people don’t make us feel bad about ourselves – yes they can bully you, shame you, tease you, call you names. The only way to handle that is by your attitude to the event. I am not saying rejoice about the trials in life, I am just pointing out that we control our reactions. We are the ones who give more meaning to things.


Can anyone actually make you do or feel something that you have not – on some level – given them permission to do. The permission may have been given as silence, non-reaction. Then the stage is set.


How do you take back control of your own life?


For a moment, try and look at this dispassionately, detached from it as if it was a story about someone else. What advice would you give that person? 


And then let’s look a little deeper. What is actually at play here? What is the personality that is accepting this?

Child? Victim? Prostitute? Saboteur?

Each of these has a different “voice” and once identified can be changed to a powerful motivation for your growth and change.