Do you know that you don’t have to personally do EVERYTHING? There is a handy idea called delegation. And yes, initially it may feel weird to not have your hand on the wheel 24-7, but it will create space for you.

Space to breathe

Space to relax that iron grip of control

Space to allow for self-care


Let’s face it, if you self-destruct, what is left of you to give self-care and self-love to? A quivering heap in the corner, matted hair, stained teeth. Gently rocking to and fro whilst huddled in the foetal position.


That won’t happen to me! I have heard that before – even said it myself. I’ve got my shot together, that’s not me. Another refrain! Haha – I am going to call you on that B.S. statement. Because the more you protest that it isn’t you, the more likely it is that it is you!


And so often we use control because we are scared of the result if we don’t Control. Every. Single. Minute. Of. Every. Day.


Sometimes it is given a label – like OCD, for example, or panic disorder. Because labels make us feel safe. Heck even the person being labelled feels safe. “See I told you something was wrong”. Vindication at last!


But let’s scratch a little deeper – behind the label – beyond the need for control. By getting to grips with the voice at the root of all this you may discover the child, or the victim Archetype, or even both! It may be difficult to hear those voices, they have been running the show for such a long time, they feel like familiar friends! Yet they have ruled your life through fear, fears which are so buried that no-one recognizes the true fears – especially when faced with relinquishing control.


In fact, let’s go back to the first sentence. Have you ever heard yourself saying – I have to do everything myself – OR – Just give the job to me and I will get it done “properly”?


Underneath that is a whole heap of resentment and feeling like a victim. The “why must I always…..” or “Why me?”. It could even be “Why can’t someone else do it, I can’t manage” or “it’s too much for me”, “I am not strong enough.” All these statements sound child-like, wanting someone else to do things for you.


And it is not all doom and gloom, there is good news.

This can be changed. If you are ready to look this stuff squarely in the face and address it head-on. Trying this alone is hard work – you need someone to cheer you on, celebrate your wins, help you over the hurdles and to motivate you to keep going. That is where I come in! Message me or email me.